Sunday, a time to reflect and write

I can't believe September is more than half over. Things have changed and are continuing to change, but for the most part things are good. I just finished giving a lesson to the beehives. I am pleased to be with these great girls., I love their open eyes, their comments and the way they talk with me. I love having a positive influence on them and having a relationship with them. Sharing experiences makes me happy and I am glad they are willing to listen. I love the Lord and his way of helping me out when I desire to do his will. I have felt so much gratitude this weekend. For my husband that is so loving and kind and for our rich lives together. I truly need his support with the family. I also love the time I have to be still and quiet and try to be mindful. I am glad for my health and abilities.

 I did feel overheated and upset on Saturday after walking at the auction and the sunrise mall. I'm glad that isn't a feeling I experience very often. I mostly feel loved, grateful, blessed and happy. Sure things happen that get me down, but the bounce back is so fast. I saw myself having joy as I attended church in the same car with all the family at home last week. I have so much joy when the kids are doing well and when we do the things that help others and bring meaning to our lives. Joe brought sacrament to a lady in the ward that needed it. Joe and I also went and visited his friends who had a choir performance in Rocklin. We looked at old cars all fixed up and explored the fair. He ditched me, but Brian came to my rescue and took me to Chipotle and later took Celia out for a fun time and I rested. My job as a mom is being redefined.

I'm glad I have written in my journal in my life. I feel like I know who I am and was because of it. The spirit touches, me tells me things I should know and do and I keep it in my heart. I need to write it down more often. I use the memo portion of my phone as reminders of goals I create, or feelings I have while listening to the spirit. Quiet time writing makes me happy, as well as photography, yard work, visiting while eating with others and riding in the car. Oh and Sugar free hot chocolate from Starbucks:) It can be so easy to think we have to do or be something other than we are. We can take who we are and remember others and love God.

I need to write to remember. I feel like the days and weeks so go fast and are full of good things, but sometimes I forget to see my happiness or enjoy the blessings that are there. I feel blessed to have each child of mine benefiting from the Lord's watchful care of them.

I got a borderline bad test result for my A1C this last month. I am determined to keep my sugar intake down.to prevent any health issues. I am walking more and making more of an effort to go to the gym. I have found I love walking by miners ravine. It really improve my mood and my day. I took my folks to walk there this week too. I hope I always remember to make nature a part of my daily schedule.  I am on day 14 of really watching and tracking myself. I feel healthier already knowing I am taking care of myself and watching my health and habits.

Joe is swimming for school, planning golf with the priests, going out for birthday parties and hanging with friends on top of work and school. He is tired, but he is growing. We have time with him to help him grow and I'm so glad for that. I may have let him lay by me instead of go to seminary the other day. Babies don't keep and he will be turning 18 soon. Time does go by and they grow up, I'm glad we have a good relationship. I realize Celia may even grow up someday, I will use wisely this time and enjoy her around. Bri got a new family game for Celia to play and we are on day two of playing it. Aquarium is perfect for her and she beats me at it. We are still the same, but yet changing routines and working out our progression through life. I'm pleased for the good things in life and being able to see and write a glimpse of it on Sundays.

A different time.~

It is surreal to me that our buddy has moved out. I think we have kept ourselves busy trying to come up with new things to do. The dynamic in our family has shifted. It has been a blessing to have Emmy in town. We went to the Oakland temple the first Saturday to fill the void of driving our buddy around everywhere all the time. We have visited him a few times, but it seems to upset and confuse him a little bit.  His best helper Chris says Spencer seems to like the freedom. He doesn't have to many demands and has a lot of help when it is on his terms.

We have played card games together and gone out to eat, shopping and everything we weren't able to do before. When  Joe and Celia needed to go to the dentist, I had a conflict at that time. I needed to go to a meeting for Spence. I was torn and concerned. It was so nice to see someone from the meeting at the dentist. Se let me know she had me covered and didn't need me to come. Joe and Celia hugged me and said they were happy I was able to spend more time with them now. Joe said another sweet thing. I told him I was missing Spence and he said I'm sure he is missing you too, I know I would. 

The Lord has been in the details of my life lately. I went to the temple and felt of his love and awareness of me. I was even blessed to feel the peace of seeing an apostle. I am amazed by the great commitment to exactly keep the commandments the apostles must have. It makes me want to do better and become more Christlike. At the Oakland temple, we learned of families and we were asked if we thought the family was important. I kinda laughed to myself,. That missionary representative has no idea how much I care about family and always have. It is in my very being to love and cherish the family. I was so pleased to see Emmy is doing some volunteer work over at UVU that helps strengthen families in the area. I thought the videos she was training with were corny, but what wonderful precepts they taught. Mindfulness, positive parenting, and respect for one another. I will miss Emmy, but I am so excited for her senior year and all the growing up she will do. I sure loved the BYU time of my life. Learning, growing, meeting Brian and doing exactly what I was supposed to do for that time in my life and relying heavily on the Lord.

August , Not too Shabby

I feel so blessed, calm and happy. My Birthday was so special with Emmy coming to visit and spending time with my folks. Celia, Joseph and Emmy went with me to Santa Cruz. Lately, I have had one on one time with each of our children and  It has been a blessing.

  After many months and preparation for a long while, Spencer is moving onto the rest of his life. He is transitioning to life as a young man. I feel the Lord is delivering us. I hope that this new transition will help our loving relationship with Spencer to grow even more. We will always be there for him. He is etched in our hearts. He has taught me so much and serving him has refined me in ways I could not of experienced otherwise. He has the best smile and will bring joy to all who care for him. He seems to want a change, I do believe that. Who knew he would fly away or launch to more independence in the community and have the opportunity to be with adults like him more. He can have diet changes that can benefit his life and so many experienced professionals to work through challenges. We have been blessed and help all along the way in his life and he will continue to be supported in his life, but not only from us and not only at home.

Last night, Joseph and I were able to see President Oaks at a youth devotional at the Mormon center. So much truth came from that man and those he felt inspired to as to speak on the spot. I love that there were so many friends an familiar faces of those brothers and sisters in the gospel. I feel as though I am being watched over and blessed and that the Lord watches over him in my life. Gates that have been shut and roads that have been denied access to me are now being opened. It isn't scary, it is fantastic. I feel so much peace and joy mixed with sadness at times. The Lord is good and I am so grateful to be an integral part of Joseph and Celia's life. They have started school and Joseph has started seminary. I am hopeful for the things they will learn and accomplish this year. I love the unity of our family and I hope that never changes.

Change, Yet always the same

Change is inevitable, although are we the same as we have always been? As I've have considered what field of work interests me as my children progress in independence. I feel I have always ha a life long dream to strengthen families, to nurture and to mentor others. I am so glad I am still able to do this with my special needs kiddos and because of them. I feel so pleased and happy to lift another and to explain things in a way that shows concern and care for each person I know. The spirit helps me with this desire, even if sometimes I read the signals wrong, My efforts however imperfect can help a little. I started a Facebook group called Autism and Aggressive behaviors. I wanted to vent and have resources from my friends who are mom's of Autistic kids. I have had several women outside of my little circle have asked to join and have joined in on the conversation. We all help and support each other with words and thoughts even if we have never met in person. We have a few things in common and can try to  understand one another. This group is a small way I can start a conversation in my community and it feels good.

I taught the beehives today at church about ordinances. We have such a short time here on earth an I am grateful for the ordinances and covenants I have part in my life.  These girls are receptive and smart. I love to see in their faces that they are learning and coming up with their own ideas, sharing their thoughts, presenting their take on the conversations we are having. I am glad they aren't too sheepish to speak out or to participate.

I love that Spencer is using his I PAD again  with me, the tutors and school. Sometimes he doesn't know what he wants, but that is communicating how is feeling by default. I like his new app better than the last as seems more easily accessible for communication. Spence has been out of school one week and we have driven all over. When Brian gets home from work( and as he was home for the holiday) he drives even far and more places with Spencer for hours. I m not allowed, Spencer makes its clear I am not to hop in and join them. That boy gets around and see beautiful places and eats out more than most people I know. We are like his limo service with unlimited snacks and meals. It would be fun. We go obviously, but It is less fun. I am trying to have a good attitude and enjoy our time together. I was so pleased that he came to Grandma's for Fourth of July for a little. He had some fajita's, chips, and a piece of angel food cake on the way out. I remember when he didn't eat anything at all except some popsicles and 30 seconds was the max time spent visiting there.

We are appreciating all the  time we have with the children as they age up and move out. I think I will be okay. I can mother and care and support them from a new position and they will always have my attention and support when needed. I have been enjoying the one on one time with each of the three children at home. It is so enjoyable talking with Emmy over the phone or or social media. I care about each of them so deeply. Brian and I got to go on a date night on the fourth. We went to the Lazy dog I had the coolest drink and was happy with that time together with him. We enjoyed fireworks at the sun city Davis' and liked hanging out with Eric, Lisa, and their kids. I am going to take July as it comes and look for the positive and happy blessings in my life and adjust to new changes as they come.