Never have I ever

In the morning times, wee hours of the early morning, I get ideas. You can call it reflections or revelations, or light bulb moments. A few days ago I had a gratitude moment somewhere between 5 and 6 am. I woke up thinking about how never have I ever had such a well attended garden and grass in my yard. Never have I ever had so many closets so organized. Never have I ever felt so fine about worshipping at home. It seems like I may becoming into a time in my dealing with Covid 19 lifestyle changes that helps me realize the silver lining. Celia and I finished her books for humanities. I balled a little. I was touched by what they are reading and how it is such to preparation for being a good citizen.

I love that the neighbor brought over a balloon and flowers for Celia's 8th grade promotion. In Roseville, never have I ever had such good casual relationships with the neighbors. I talked to the neighbor across the street who has a small baby and we had a great time talking. I loved seeing that cute little innocent boy. We have had more social distanced walks with Alex and Olivia and those walks get Celia out and about and being social. That is a fun treat for me and her.

 I could list my many blessings and go on and on, but I am aware of so may suffering and it is quite sobering. At the beginning of the year, I chose a word to represent my year. Hope. I think this is important as sometimes we all feel the anxiety from this pandemic and its potential aftermaths. I hope that I can help tie my family tight together and to the gospel. I hope that I can help create ties that bind. I hope I can succor and comfort hurting friends and neighbors and buoy up those that suffer so much and turn them to Christ who gives peace to all that search him out and follow his precepts.

This morning's ahah moment was about the Book of Mormon and how a person may get closer to God through following its precepts than by any other book. And what precepts are those? They are following Christ, keeping the commandments, being aware to avoid pride and to have charity. This scripture is wrought with so many stories of change of heart, deliverance, and how to govern oneself and others. I am following Come Follow Me curriculum  this year instead of my daily page by page study of the book. I do it yearly and I miss the everyday every page approach and how it so influences my life. The dedication I have given in the past to the study of the Book of Mormon has helped me to resist temptation, remember the atonement and do all that the father asks of me. There is so much to do all the time and so many things to be aware of, but it is easier and possible to do those and be full of joy if we seek his word and listen to our father. The means he left for all of us to have to personalized answers to our daily questions is through his word, I am grateful to have the Bible and the book of Mormon to study his word and receive more personal revelation to guide my life each day. Then I can say never have I ever felt his word more in my life.

Change, Yet always the same

Change is inevitable, although are we the same as we have always been? As I've have considered what field of work interests me as my children progress in independence. I feel I have always ha a life long dream to strengthen families, to nurture and to mentor others. I am so glad I am still able to do this with my special needs kiddos and because of them. I feel so pleased and happy to lift another and to explain things in a way that shows concern and care for each person I know. The spirit helps me with this desire, even if sometimes I read the signals wrong, My efforts however imperfect can help a little. I started a Facebook group called Autism and Aggressive behaviors. I wanted to vent and have resources from my friends who are mom's of Autistic kids. I have had several women outside of my little circle have asked to join and have joined in on the conversation. We all help and support each other with words and thoughts even if we have never met in person. We have a few things in common and can try to  understand one another. This group is a small way I can start a conversation in my community and it feels good.

I taught the beehives today at church about ordinances. We have such a short time here on earth an I am grateful for the ordinances and covenants I have part in my life.  These girls are receptive and smart. I love to see in their faces that they are learning and coming up with their own ideas, sharing their thoughts, presenting their take on the conversations we are having. I am glad they aren't too sheepish to speak out or to participate.

I love that Spencer is using his I PAD again  with me, the tutors and school. Sometimes he doesn't know what he wants, but that is communicating how is feeling by default. I like his new app better than the last as seems more easily accessible for communication. Spence has been out of school one week and we have driven all over. When Brian gets home from work( and as he was home for the holiday) he drives even far and more places with Spencer for hours. I m not allowed, Spencer makes its clear I am not to hop in and join them. That boy gets around and see beautiful places and eats out more than most people I know. We are like his limo service with unlimited snacks and meals. It would be fun. We go obviously, but It is less fun. I am trying to have a good attitude and enjoy our time together. I was so pleased that he came to Grandma's for Fourth of July for a little. He had some fajita's, chips, and a piece of angel food cake on the way out. I remember when he didn't eat anything at all except some popsicles and 30 seconds was the max time spent visiting there.

We are appreciating all the  time we have with the children as they age up and move out. I think I will be okay. I can mother and care and support them from a new position and they will always have my attention and support when needed. I have been enjoying the one on one time with each of the three children at home. It is so enjoyable talking with Emmy over the phone or or social media. I care about each of them so deeply. Brian and I got to go on a date night on the fourth. We went to the Lazy dog I had the coolest drink and was happy with that time together with him. We enjoyed fireworks at the sun city Davis' and liked hanging out with Eric, Lisa, and their kids. I am going to take July as it comes and look for the positive and happy blessings in my life and adjust to new changes as they come.

Happy Father's Day

It was so hot, we decided swim suits were in order for the grandparents house. Spencer was able to stay two hours in one spot! It has been busy for a while driving Spencer all the time and him not sleeping at night too much. I'm really glad Brian and I got to have a day date on Saturday. We went to Jamba juice and shopping for a fancy grill. We found one and I'm excited to have it delivered this Friday. I cooked breakfast for Brian for Father's day and Celia wanted to bring it to him in bed. She made him a card with a little stick figure drawing of the two of them holding hands. It was cute.  I love that Brian is such a great husband and father. Each of our children love him very much.  He has been there for each of them from birth until now. They probably don't realize the benefits they have reaped from this blessing, but I know it has made their lives better then without their Dad around.

December Dealings

Spencer's procedures went well. He had a upper endoscopy and colonoscopy due to some major weight loss and some apparent discomfort while drinking.  We felt loved and supported. Many thoughts and prayers buoyed us up. Spencer was aggressive towards Brian while waiting in the waiting room, but we got the best nurse to take his vitals and prepare him. It was calm and fun and nice. The Dr. and anesthesiologist were the best at what they do. Spencer's recovery was so great compared to the other moaners int he area. Spencer woke after a while and ate a Popsicle. He enjoyed eating after the fast necessary for the work being done.  My friend Sarah was participating in the light the world service project the church is promoting to do service for 25 days until Christmas. Their family goal that day was to make someone smile. They chose Spencer and showered him with love via giant card, homemade drawings, candy and a burned CD of Dance music. Spencer was so happy and protective of his gift. I am so glad and feel very blessed that more serious problems weren't found. I am hopeful that he can heal and get back to normal.

Celia and I went to the Granite Bay creche festival with my folks. There were many beautiful nativities, but I enjoyed one that was a picture of a group of people gathered near a cave an looking at the swaddled up baby. It made me believe the actual seen was something like that.  Celia wanted to dress up for a live nativity and wanted to be an angel. We dressed up with her. I did this many times with the other kids as they were younger so it was nice to get a chance to do that with her.  These girls won't let me rest and not celebrate Christmas as much. They are task masters for wrapping presents and decorating. We are celebrating a lot. I already went to a ugly sweater Christmas party and we have a few more events this month before Hawaii. We will miss the KJ Christmas party although we were invited. Spence and I went by the temple on a ride and it was so peaceful there. The snapdragons planted there reminded me of Utah. I'm feeling grateful for all my good memories from when we lived there.

New Hair and Teeth

It was all of a sudden. I had been complaining about my hair for a while, I attempted to cut is short a few months back, but I only trimmed my bangs. It wasn't until my hubby mentioned in conversation how we sometimes hold on to things we had in high school habits, preferences, memories.etc. I said I don't really have anything I'm holding on to from high school and it was pointed out to me that my long hair could be attributed to that time in my life. Its true, for dancing in The La Habra Hawaiian girl company we were to have long hair. Really long hair to give more of the Hawaiian look while dancing. I don't have the complexion or hair color of that of a Hawaiian, but at least I could have the length. I love my hair and the long hair has kept me warm through Utah winters and it grows so fast I got used to it. I kept it long. Letting it grow was more convenient then getting it cut. I am however not so attached to my hair that I couldn't let it go. I don't have an obsession with my hair so much that I wouldn't cut it or change it. I was out to prove this point when i decided to find a hairdresser and get the Pixie cut suggested sometimes from my hubby.  It felt liberating. Seeing my pony tail of hair off was a little weird, but I felt so light and giggly. I showed the hair dresser at J C penny a picture of a pixie cut she had in a magazine saying it was trending for 2015. No one I know has this haircut, but maybe if I went to a big city, I wouldn't be the only one with short hair? It doesn't matter really. It is fun and funky. My hair moves this way and that, has a lot of body, and is ridiculously easy to care for. No more hair in our food, vacuum and sinks being bogged down with too much hair. No pulling my hair every time I get a hug from my kids. No one can sit on my hair and pin me when I lie. You can tell feel freedom. It still takes some getting used to for sure and I still love long hair, but for now it has been a great change and the right choice.

My teeth change has been going on for years now. From third grade I have damaged the area of my front teeth when my permanent tooth was knocked out. An abscess for many year ruined the gum tissue above my teeth. After having the tooth next to my fake front tooth removed and several( I don't dare count)oral surgeries later, I am getting implants( really the crowns on them that show) for a new smile. I got implants a while ago, but the gum structure and shape of them cause my gums to recessed and the implant to not be perfect aesthetically. More surgeries and time later..today is the final step(crosses fingers) to my long tooth journey. Dr Steiner and now Dr. Wilkes have worked on me and done without cost. It is unheard of and bless them for that! I will have permanent nice looking teeth and gums. They are healthy and as nice looking as we can get them under the circumstances. It has been an ordeal, but I'm glad that this my front teeth won't be the issue it has been for most of my life. The future is bright and I feel very blessed. It is only January but for 2015 so far I have new hair and teeth!

My Growing Young Woman

I'm so happy and Proud of Emmy for getting her young woman in recognition medallion. It did take all six years and is quite an accomplishment. She had to do many projects tallying up to ten hours each and she did read the whole Book of Mormon as part of the process. The scriptures and journal writing required are such wonderful steps to take to become strong spiritually in her youth. Brian and I were able to go to Young Women in Excellence and  see a video about her, watch her conduct the meeting and share her testimony and Integrity themed quilt. I'm so happy for the proud moments of accomplishment for my good kiddos. Emmy has so much going on getting ready for college and finishing her senior year. I'm glad to have this time together. Since it was date night, we took her to Outback Steakhouse for dinner and Emmy ordered the Filet Mignon. Who taught her to have such tastes?  We also enjoyed conference this first weekend in  October. I loved hearing Saturdays talks. I did pray about questions I wanted answered and concepts I wish to know more about and those prayers were answered in the talks given that day.

I visited Emmy at her speech and debate competition too. I like that Emmy is I competitive forensics. She can learn great skills for life and I enjoy dressing her up for the competitions.  Apparently, for the duo competitions you're not allowed to touch your hair. Emmy wanted her hair all up, so we did and she was looking so professional that day without any band merch bracelets which she missed of course.

We were happy to have Brian back on Saturday evening from his work trip to L.A. and we enjoyed conference and  family time on Sunday. We plays some cards and I made a Halloween wreath which I'm excited about since I had given away a few of our decorations last year and one of the tutors sad you always go all out for Halloween. Isn't it your favorite holiday? It isn't, but the pressure was on to get things all festive. I was pretty happy to decorate and Celia couldn't get enough of it. It should be a great month. Bring on the fall festivities!